I'm A Barbie Girl

Growing up I used to love to Barbie dolls. I had every accessory, including the Barbie dream house, that you could imagine. My Barbie even had the red Ferrari (every time we pull up next to a red Ferrari I remind Joe that my Barbie used to have one). Each year for Christmas my grandma always got me a collector Barbie. I have tons of Barbies still in their boxes in perfect condition (imagine how hard it was being a little girl and having to leave a new doll in the box...torture!). It was only fitting that at my bridal shower my grandma gave me a wedding Barbie. I'm sure it was no surprise that I picked black, white and hot pink for my wedding colors. But I do think Joe and I surprised our wedding party and 180 guests at our reception when the DJ played "Barbie Girl" by Aqua for our entrance song. I'll never forget how Joe and I danced our way in and out of the tables right onto the dance floor where our wedding party of 16 was jumping around and laughing. I even sacrificed my train during our entrance, and somehow it made it safely into my grandma's arms where she held onto it for the rest of the night.

I truly felt like a Barbie on my wedding day. My dress fit like a glove and I couldn't have been happier with my hair and makeup (it is so worth it to pay to have your makeup done by a professional). Everything went as planned, well with the exception of one minor glitch. Men's Wearhouse forgot to order Joe's tux. How could they forget the groom's tux? They ended up getting Joe a tux with uneven pant legs and a jacket that was too small. Other than the tux, everything was fabulous.

I started the morning by meeting my dad in the hotel lobby for a run. It's not exactly warm in St. Louis in December, so our outdoor run turned into a sprint around the block and ended in the comfort of the hotel's fitness center. When I got back to the bridal suite, the pamper party was in full swing. We had two hair stations, a makeup station and never-ending mimosas. OJ and champagne...yes please! Joe surprised me with apples and yogurt (does he know me or what?) from the breakfast buffet and a wonderful card. (Women are really easy to please. All men have to do is listen to us. A while ago I mentioned to a future groom that he should write his bride-to-be a card. Joe clearly picked up on my obvious clue.) Throughout the morning all of my bridesmaids piled into the suite. We rocked out to a stellar hip-hop and techno playlist and got ready for the big event.

The party continued, minus the mimosas, at the church. I managed to find a boom box and did a solo dance to Beyonce's "Single Ladies" right before putting on my dress. I remember seeing my grandma before the ceremony and she surprised me by wearing a bright pink shirt that was just perfect with the rest of the decor. The minutes before my big walk down the aisle went by in a blur. My dad rang the church bells to signal that a wedding was about to begin and then it was time. The moment that played in my mind over and over again. I plastered a giant smile across my face, bit my inner lip to keep the tears from flowing, threw back my shoulders and proudly walked into the church anxiously looking for my groom at the end of the aisle.

The ceremony was perfect. I only cried a bit during the vows. Luckily, I cried like a baby during the rehearsal so I got it all out before the real event. When Joe and I said our vows, I felt like we were the only people in the room. We executed the kiss precisely (yes, we practiced and choreographed a kiss!) and pranced back down the aisle as husband and wife. I loved having a receiving line immediately after the ceremony. It gave me a chance to say hello to our guests and allowed for plenty of time on the dance floor (which I took full advantage of) at the reception. After a few quick pictures at the church, the real party started.

I highly recommend getting a giant bus, one big enough for your wedding party and all of their dates, for the picture transportation. Some of my favorite memories from the night occurred during the picture taking hours. Of course, the bus needs to be fully stocked to keep the wedding party content during pictures. We put our wedding party through a bit of torture with a few outdoor pictures at our high school (I had to. It's where Joe and I met 12 years ago.), but made up for it with champagne, vodka and beer. I also recommend stopping a few fun places like a casino and bar during the pictures. Not only do casinos have great backdrops for fun pictures, but there is a chance someone could win big. Thanks Ameristar for the shots at the bar on the way to the reception! I knew things were going well when we saw the bus shaking from the wedding party dancing in the aisle while we finished up pictures in the casino. There were tons of empty seats on the bus as everyone continued to dance in the aisle as we made our way to the reception. Joe's bus playlist rocked!

I heard someone say that the wedding party sets the tone for the reception. Considering that girls were crawling through Joe's unlce's legs during the reception, people licked our ice sculpture and the dance floor stayed packed until midnight, our party did a great job! The reception ballroom looked stunning. In fact, I cried (shocking, I know) when I saw the room. My aunt and uncle surprised me with chair covers. There are worth every extra dollar. They made the room! Our head table was covered in pink and I loved it! The pink and white cupcakes in the middle of the dance floor looked beautiful as we walked in to cut the cake. My dad even surprised me by wearing pink socks during the dad/daughter dance.

Thank you to everyone who helped make my wedding day amazing. It was beyond my wildest dreams. I have no regrets! I appreciate all of the advice I received before the big day and did my best to remember things throughout the day. I made it a point to look around during all points of the day to take everything in. The day does fly by. I was selfish and did what I wanted throughout the day. When a song came on that I wanted to dance to with Joe, I ran and grabbed him away from a conversation to dance. I can honestly say that I enjoyed every minute of my wedding day and made sure to share it with my husband. I couldn't have been happier with my vendors. If we had to do it all over again, I would use every single vendor and venue in a heartbeat. You do find out who your true friends are during a wedding and I am so blessed. Joe and I have so many wonderful people in our lives. I'm so glad we did a big wedding back in St. Louis. It was just as perfect as Barbie.

27 Days

I logged onto theknot.com last night and saw my wedding countdown. We are getting so close. Only 27 more days to go. I can't begin to explain the emotions I am feeling. I am incredibly excited to marry my best friend and high school sweetheart. I am so nervous (not about marrying Joe), but about getting everything done. I have wedding things in three different locations. My dad's house, Joe's parents' house and here in LA (I hope I don't forget something). I have notes of things to do, things to buy and questions for vendors. If I lost my binder and spiral notebook I don't think we'd be able to have this wedding! I am also going through this intense reflection period. I have cried more in the last week than I have all year, but they are not tears of sadness. I really can't think of a word to describe this last feeling (For those of you who know me, this is a first. Me speechless?). For nearly 27 years, I have been Kristin K and in 27 days I will be Kristin B. My identity and role will shift. I will be a wife. To me, this is a huge responsibility.

Last night, I was at a colleague's housewarming party. Several people asked me, "Where's your husband?" The words at the time did not mean much (considering that Joe is not yet my husband, but fiance). I am anxious to hear the word husband for the first time after we are married. That's when the word will mean the world to me.

Joe and I have been engaged for nearly one year. Have I let this time pass me by without truly savoring it? So much of my energy and focus has been on the planning process. Yes, invitations were a giant burden (but they ended up being so perfect! Sophisticated and modern, black & white with a splash of hot pink). In terms of planning, everything else has just fallen into place. I can't wait to walk into the reception room and see our vision come together. I picture the dance floor jam packed with people having a blast (at least I sure hope this is the case). I keep overlooking these precious days of our engagement and focusing on the big day. I feel like I need to buy bridal magazines for my flight to STL over Thanksgiving. Not because I need more ideas or help with planning. At this stage in the game, if it is not decided upon, it's not happening. But because, I will never be engaged again. I keep reflecting on the things I have accomplished and done in my life. Have I done everything I ever wanted to as a single person? I can't name one thing I want to do while I am still single (well, with the exception of having a fabulous bachelorette party). Everything I want to do and accomplish in life involves Joe.

When we first got engaged there was no question in my mind about the kind of wedding I wanted to have. Ever since I was a little girl, I have dreamed of a big wedding. As Joe and I started to bring my vision to life, I couldn't help but wonder if we are doing the right thing. We are covering the cost of this big affair and digging ourselves deeper into debt. With each decision comes a deposit and final payment. The amount of money we are spending on one day is sickening. We could buy a new car, furnish our second bedroom, take a honeymoon and add to my purse collection with a Chanel, Louis, Prada and Gucci. My trip to St. Louis last weekend proved to me that we are making the right decision. The cost of this wedding is ridiculous (it doesn't help that I have gone over budget on everything except for the cupcakes. I want a champagne wedding on a beer budget!), but being able to experience the day with all of our friends and family is priceless.

Last weekend I met Joe in St. Louis for a weekend full of wedding planning activities and a good friends' wedding. On Friday night we went to our friends' house for what I thought was going to be a small, intimate dinner party. Joke was on me! I got the surprise of my life. I walked into the house and started hugging the girls I expected at the dinner. I looked up and noticed a person I used to work with taking pictures...random? I glanced to the other side of the room and saw about 60 of our friends and family members. OMG!!!! I was so confused and overwhelmed with emotions. I burst into tears (shocking, I know!) and couldn't breathe. Once I gained some composure, I made my way around the room greeting everyone. It took me a while to learn that this was a surprise shower for ME! That was the moment that confirmed our decision to have a big wedding in St. Louis. I can not believe our wedding party (especially Joe's brother) worked so hard to arrange this event. Every detail screamed K. We had a Christmas tree for gifts with a giant pink bow, pink ornaments and cute little candy rings. Instead of cake, we had an ice cream sundae bar (for those of you that have read past blog posts, you know how I feel about ice cream!). I had my very own engagement ring martini glass that was always full of my favorite cocktail...Pearl Pomegranate vodka and water. DJ Tiesto blasted on the stereo, despite my dad's disapproval of the house music. The food spread...awesome. Humus, meatless pasta, my sis' cheese dip, fruit and these amazing stuffed mushrooms. Heaven! I have never felt so loved in my life. The feeling in that house (can't believe our friends opened up their home for us, thank you!) that night was magical. My bucket was overflowing.

I woke up Saturday morning and met my dad for a long walk around a park. Just like old times. For two hours we walked, I talked and he listened. We discussed everything from the wedding to work to working out to life in general. I miss those weekly therapy and inspirational sessions. I am so blessed to have such a fabulous relationship with my dad. I can't wait for him to walk me down the aisle. He is ringing the bells at the church before our wedding, just like he used to do when he worked at the church when I was a little girl. (Why am I crying now? Are all of these emotions normal?)

Saturday afternoon Joe and I attended a high school friend's wedding. As Joe stood on the alter dressed in his tux fulfilling his groomsman duties, I couldn't help but think of us on the alter saying our vows. Speaking of vows, when we met with the minister before my surprise party and discussed vows I cried. Why? That was when the wedding started to feel real. It is about Joe and I becoming one, not about cake flavors and flower colors.

After the wedding, I went for my trial up-do. Love, love, love my wedding hair. It felt like homecoming or prom until I put on the veil. Not only, did I finally start to feel like a bride (it took 11 months and a giant shower to start to feel like a bride), but now I looked like a bride.

On Sunday, my MOH and I met my florist (for the first time...ah the joys of planning a wedding from far away) and finalized flower choices. We then headed out to one of Joe's relative's homes for another shower. The shower cake..ice cream cake from Cold Stone. Do my friends and family know me or what? We got showered with tons of gifts. Thank you! I left St. Louis after the shower exhausted, but feeling extremely loved and fortunate.

As we head into this final stretch before the wedding, I am trying to enjoy every moment. I am taking in every decision. For every task that I cross off my to-do list, I add 10 more, but it doesn't matter. December 19th is our day. We have tons to do to pull it all together, but I can take pride in the fact that we did it all ourselves (no wedding planners here!) and we did it for our friends and family.

I was starting to wonder if the people I used to see all of the time still cared. I don't do the best job of staying in touch (life has this crazy way of getting in the way). I learned over last weekend that my relationships with friends and family are resilient. They are flexible, but not breakable. We may be 1,800 miles away and not able to talk all of the time, but I know everyone still cares. I can't wait to see them all in the church and then to celebrate with them on the dance floor. I might be in a wedding dress, but I will definitely be dropping it like it's hot! Let the countdown begin and tears flow. I am a very ecstatic bride-to-be! Now, back to that to-do list :)