Filling Up My Bucket

I apologize for being MIA lately. Two factors have contributed to my lack of posting: 1).I have been in an inspirational dry spell lately. 2). I have been putting in double digit hours at work trying to master my position and keep all of the projects and training classes running smoothly. As a result, I am exhausted when I get home. I am also not leading a balanced life, which I feel contributes to the above mentioned dry spell.

I didn't realize how out of whack my life was until I went back to St. Louis this past weekend. On the plane ride from LA to St. Louis I read the book How Full Is Your Bucket. The book helped me uncover that I continuously help fill other people's buckets, but I am not doing much to fill my own bucket. At work, I help coach other people to success and spend a ton of time filling up my colleagues buckets. Even though I enjoy my job, I feel like people are dipping into my bucket more than I can fill my bucket. I tend to bring home work stress which negatively impacts my relationship with Joe. By the time I get home after 6pm or 7pm, I am exhausted. I make dinner and before I know it, I am back in bed getting ready for another work focused day. I have been neglecting my own interests and passions (writing).

This past weekend in addition to reading a very insightful book, I spent a lot of time with my dad. My dad fills my bucket. I can talk to my dad about anything and everything. He is a great sounding board. Now that I live in LA, I no longer get my weekly date night dinners and weekend workouts with my dad. I miss him terribly! After only a few hours together and a several glasses of wine, my dad pointed out that I was extremely negative. Another sign that my life was out of whack. I pride myself on being a positive person (sometimes I might come across as too positive).

After some great talks with my dad, I realized that I am missing some crucial elements in my life. I am not focusing on any kind of athletic goal. This time last year, I had already ran one half marathon and I was training and fundraising for the Chicago Marathon. I am the kind of person that needs a goal. I don't have workout motivation issues, but I do prefer to be striving to cross the finish line of an event. My dad and I ran in the Race for the Cure over the weekend and even though it was only a 5K, I still felt the runner's high. I need to get signed up for a half marathon and stat!

I also need to dedicate myself to something other than work. I need to get focused on volunteering. Life is all about timing. When I got back to the office on Monday I had an email in my inbox for someone at the Arthritis Foundation. It was almost as if her ears were ringing over the weekend. We are having lunch on Friday.

Instead of investing everything in work, I need to invest more in relationships that mean a lot to me. I was fortunate enough to spend Saturday night with my girlfriends. I definitely woke up on Sunday with a full bucket. It is amazing what a lot of estrogen and a few cocktails can do. Spending time with my girlfriends made me realize how lucky I am. A great group of girls gave up their Saturday nights with their kids, husbands, families and significant others to meet me for a night out in St. Louis. Often times I miss phone calls from these girls because I am still in the office past 6pm or because I am busy running to other meetings during the day. I need to be more available to my friends! I have a phone date scheduled for tomorrow night.

I am only 2 days into achieving a more balanced life and things are going pretty well. I have already worked 21 hours, but I have mailed a huge chunk of my wedding save the dates (YAY!!), wrote this post (finally!), convinced Joe to run a 5K (not quite a half, but I am so excited to run a race with Joe) and made dinner for Joe twice. It is a start! Of all people, I know that a truly balanced life does not exist (I wrote my graduate thesis on the topic of women and work family balance). I need to do something to fill up my bucket. I don't like the feeling of my life being out of whack or of being negative.