There's A Difference Between Interest & Commitment

I love the saying, there's a difference between interest and commitment. When you are interested in something you do it only when it's convenient, but when you are committed to something you accept no excuses only results! I think about running and training for the Disney half marathon (which is next week!!). I am committed to training. I have run up to 11 miles and have pulled my aching body out of bed at 5:30am to pound out speed-work on the treadmill. On one of my long runs I thought it would be a good idea to give up sweets to purify my body before the half. Clearly, I was only interested in this idea. I failed terribly!

I bought Ben & Jerry's for my last binge on ice cream a few weeks ago before giving it up. I ate my Ben & Jerry's and managed to polish off Joe's container of ice cream. Last weekend we had visitors in town and ordered dessert at one of our favorite restaurants in downtown LA. I managed to resist the macaroons when the waiter first delivered them on the table, but chocolate souffle and gelato...no way. I decided I was merely interested, indulged in the amazing dessert and ate the macaroons too. I also had to take our guests to Pinkberry. I would have been an awful host to deny them the delicious fro-yo treat because I was committed to not eating sweets. I swore to myself I would start fresh and commit to the idea of no sweets this week. I took a cooking class Thursday and we made a walnut cake with raspberry whip cream. How do I not eat something I helped create?

So here I am a week away from the half marathon wondering if my failed commitment to giving up sweets will impact my results. I'm hoping that my commitment to following my training plan outweighs my interest in giving up sweets. After all of my hard work and running, don't I deserve a treat anyways?

Out For Revenge

I woke up this morning facing a 10-mile training run. I knew it was coming and I was prepared. I ate pasta for dinner, stayed in (on a Saturday night!) and slept a lot. I ran a great 5-miles yesterday slightly below my half marathon pace, so I should have had all the confidence in the world today. I didn't. I was nervous about the 10-miler. The trail stole something from me last weekend around mile 8 when I had to stop running and walk 4 minutes. The trail stole some of my confidence and pride.

I gathered up all of my running accessories (fuel belt, water bottle, Gatorade bottle, packet of Gu, Garmin, knee band and ipod...high maintenance!), laced up my new running shoes (I even thought about not wearing the new ones to keep them from getting dirty) and headed to my car. I didn't even get out of the parking garage before having to go to the bathroom again (nerves!). The 15 minute drive to Silverlake turned into a battle in my mind. 10-miles is so long, but you have run full marathons before. It's almost 1:00pm the same time you went out and failed last weekend, this day is different I have Gu to keep me energized. What will you think about for 10 miles, I made a great playlist. Self-defeating thoughts and positive thoughts went back and forth in my mind. Finally, I arrived at my destination (miraculously since my mind was not focused on driving parked my car. Without thinking I hopped out, strapped on all of my gear, turned on the Garmin and made my way to the trail. I hit the start timer button on my watch and eased into a slow jog. I analyzed last weekend's long run over and over again. I think there are 2 reasons why I had to stop running and walk...I paced too quickly and didn't fuel up properly. I knew the Vanilla Bean Gu pinned to my shorts would solve my fuel issue and so I decided to start out SLOW for this run. Today's goal was distance not speed.

The first mile blew by and I clocked around 9:45. Way too slow for my half marathon goal. The competitor in me wanted to speed up, but I knew that today distance would outweigh speed. Not only did I need to log the long miles for training, but I was out seeking revenge. I resisted my desire to pick up and pace and instead focused on remaining strong for that 8 mile point where I walked last week. Today, I was going to kill that hill that defeated me last week. I kept thinking revenge, revenge, revenge. Somewhere along the way my doubts faded and my confidence rose. I decided that after the 3rd lap around the trail I would change directions and run the other way so I could face the hill I failed last week. Around 7 miles in I unpinned my Gu and of course dropped the packet on the trail. Ewww gross, it touched the dirt ground. Oh well, I knew I would need the fuel for revenge. I picked up the packet (thought to myself that it's a good thing I'm not in a race), tore of the top and enjoyed the deliciousness. (I might be crazy, but I love the taste of Vanilla Bean Gu!) I rocked out to techno, grooved to Dave Matthews and thought about giving up sugar and sweets from now until the half (sometimes your mind goes a little crazy on long runs) and before I knew it, I was at the hill. I took a deep breath, said to myself "I got this bitch!" and powered my way to the top. Revenge, oh sweet revenge. My confidence soared, legs felt strong and I felt relieved to know that I still had it as a runner. I could go the distance.

I set out for my last mile and allowed myself to pick up the pace. I clocked under a 9:00 minute mile. That's more like it. I came up with the theory that I'll run my pace time on race day because of the confidence I have from my long training runs, excitement from the race crowd and sheer determination to come in under 2 hours. I just know that I'll be able to combine speed and distance when I need to perform. Today was all about slow and steady wins the race. I felt like a winner when I hit mile 10 and decided to keep going because my car was parked on the other side of the trail. Even though I logged my distance needed for training, I wasn't walking. 11 miles later I got in my car and drove away feeling like I conquered the world. When it comes to running, it is all about mind over matter!

My Love for Accessories

I love accessories! I have necklaces draped on french bulletin boards in my closet, a drawer full of earrings and bracelets and a closet for my purses (yes, I have a space dedicated to my purses. It's fabulous! Totes on one shelf, clutches on another.). I have about 15 belts that just hang limply in the closet longing for me to wear them once again. (I went through a phase where I belted just about every top I wore.) I couldn't leave a store without browsing through the accessory section. I felt like I died and went to heaven when I discovered Forever 21's accessory store for love at the Beverly Center.

Thankfully, with all of the accessory binges in my past (those days when I would mindlessly pull out my credit card and haphazardly charge my purchases) I have built up quite the collection. Lately, I have only needed to add an item here or there to coordinate with a specific outfit. I also decided that it is way better to invest in a designer purse once a year instead of buying several less expensive bags. You end up spending about the same anyways. Keep you fingers crossed I find a way to own a Gucci bag this year. Needless to say, my accessory shopping in the fashion world has dwindled. (Probably a good thing considering one of my goals is to pay down credit card debt).

A scary thing happened over the weekend. Instead of shopping in a mall, I found myself in a running store. Yikes! It is not a good idea to go to a running store after a run (Like they say don't go to the grocery store hungry!). All of those endorphins pumping through your body block your ability to think logically (who am I kidding? Being logical is not one of my strengths!) and you end up with things that you don't truly need. I ended up with a new pair of shoes (absolutely necessary purchase), a new pair of socks (I have tons of running socks, but most don't even have enough elastic left to stay in place on my feet. Arguable if these were necessary!), packets of vanilla bean Gu (I'm up to 10 miles in my training schedule. I needed something more substantial than Gatordae to prevent bonking) and a new watch (a running accessory). I left the store with the Garmin Forerunner. It's gray and pink (my favorite color), so how could I not? I'll admit this accessory was a splurge and not necessary. I could have eased my way into running watches with a Nike or Timex. It was just so tempting! Now that I am actually concerned about my time while running, don't I need the best? I got a work out this weekend and so did my credit card (sigh...maybe I'll do better next month).

It's scary that my love for accessories now extends beyond the fashion world. I guess at least now I'll look like a fashionable runner. Maybe I need a new hat to match my new white, orange and gray shoes?

Sometimes You Have It, Sometimes You Don't!

I have been more committed to my half marathon training schedule than I ever have been before. I have actually done most of the speed work and strength training sessions (with the help of a personal trainer). I have logged the long runs diligently. Yesterday, I went out for my 9-mile run. I was pumped to hit the Silver Lake trail. It's a 2.3 mile trail around a fake lake. I knew I only had to go around the trail 4 times and I did it a few weeks ago, so I thought piece of cake. I started off strong. One lap in and I was feeling great, well except for my annoying fuel belt. Can someone please invent a fuel belt for petite women? I swear I burned a ton of energy adjusting my belt. Every other step that thing would ride up my waist! Music was great. I got into some DMB, which fired me up for their upcoming concert. My mind started to wander about new opportunities and career goals. The sun was shining and I was happy to be out running.

Then I hit the third lap. I started to feel fatigued and wanted to stop. I tried repeating my positive running affirmation (I am crossing the finish line of the Disney half-marathon under 2 hours and I feel ecstatic!). I played mental games with myself and tried to convince myself that I didn't have much longer to go. Finally I finished the 3rd lap and started my 4th and final lap around the fake lake. I was about 8 miles in when I came up to a hill and I stopped running. I don't remember telling myself to stop running and start walking. It just happened. I was so frustrated! I don't like to walk on my runs. I felt defeated. I felt exhausted and walked shamelessly up the hill. I walked for 4 minutes and decided I had enough. I picked up my pace and started to run again. I ran the rest of the lap and finished my 9.2 mile run in 86 minutes. I was bummed about walking until I got home and checked my training schedule. When I did the same run a couple of weeks ago I finished the 9.2 miles in 88 minutes. I did better than last time even with 4 minutes of walking.

Lessons learned...sometimes you have it and the conditions are just right. Sometimes you just don't have it. Yesterday, I just didn't have it. Maybe it was because I went out too late in the day. I started running around 1:00pm with only breakfast as my fuel. Maybe I was tired from traveling for work the week before. Regardless of the conditions, never give up! Keep putting one foot in front of the other no matter how slow or how fast. You just might surprise yourself.